For clarity's sake, I am a Mark Wahlberg fan, and I am not a Halle Berry fan. I struggled through this movie to watch Wahlberg, but his presence was insufficient to stave off my nausea.
In some small way, this movie exposes to some extent, what the Hollywood and Netflix think of “blue-collar” America. The Union in the movie is a super-secret spy agency made up of blue-collar operatives. I suspect the original script title was Mission Imbecilic. These middle America agents are described as the road builders, the house painters, the trash collectors, plumbers, farmers, and bartenders. Portrayed as bar flies, drunks, penniless men with no ambition and no direction. For example, Wahlberg is introduced to us as he lies on the bed of his seventy-year-old grammar schoolteacher having spent the evening with her in drunken debouch. Well, what can you expect from a blue-collar guy.
Berry runs into Wahlberg in a bar (of course) and utters smooth tones reminiscent of “Bond… James Bond.” Only Berry, dressed in skintight motorcycle leathers and a chicken feather hairdo, bleats: “Hiya, Mikey,” as she reacquaints herself with her high school paramour. The scene ends with them doing shots — of course it does.
The movie continues with what has to be the dumbest, most half-baked plot in recent memory. Honestly, there is no plot. What follows is alternate bits of meaningless banter and attempted action scenes that are ridiculous, and without effects, special or otherwise. Cheaply made, without choreography, and silly. Berry, pushing sixty, runs like a constipated grandmother, both legs are made of wood and with the agility of the Frankenstein monster. Poor woman, please sit down and rest.
One question before I leave DEI Berry. Why is she stuffing her hairdo into the cap of the French Revolution? Does she think it’s fashionable? Does she think she’s doing “Les Misérables?” The only misérables in this movie are in the audience.
Wahlberg drags himself through the movie, but I cannot help but believe that his heart wasn’t in it. I would reveal the ending, but who cares. Suffice it to say that the producers have the good grace to warn us that there might be a sequel.
Union is a fail. Stay away. This review will self-destruct in 4 seconds.
Funny review